Rocky Would Beat Up...Steven Seagall

Man, I really hate that douchebag, Steven Seagall. Rocky Balboa hates Steven Seagall too. Trust me on this, folks. I talked to Rocky and it's just a matter of time before he beats that ponytailed fatass pansy into a pulp. Case closed. Fughedaboutit!

Rock Would Beat Up...Brad Wesley

Brad Wesley, the arch-villian from Road House, could always use a good beating and Rocky would be just the guy to trow it it 'im!

Rocky Would Beat Up...Justin Timberlake

Rocky was never too crazy about the pop stars. He still ain't. Any dude who tries to sing and dance like a, well, a hoochie mama "at the club" gots problems in my book. And Rocky's too.

And, whatever happened to picking up broads the corner dive bar, like a real man should? I met some of my best girls that way. And I ain't talking no skanky barflies either. For the most part.